the morning after

bless me father (again). it's been a long-ass time since i've verbally barfed onto my mac.

i would like to take this opportunity to thank the academy, i mean my sister leslie, for the steel-toed boot kick in my bony ass and actually sit it down on the couch and blogify. 

she's been urging me to do so for quite some time but my incredibly thick skull must have parted enough to actually hear her words when she texted me something to the effect of: "you must blog today, you are using really good words." so here you go, baby sis. i hope you're sneaking "on the clock" time to revel in my brilliant verbgiage thus far...classics like long-ass, barf and blogify. 

i'll take the praise and "atta-girl" but in reality i'm doing my best to avoid going out into the terrifying world of consumeristic hell otherwise known as BLACK FRIDAY. that "unofficial holiday" (it ain't on my calender!) that begins precisely at 12:01 a.m. on friday, november 28th. i'm assuming it's only in america as i give our brothers and sisters in other countries more credit. i mean really, is it possible that people who sit in cafe's and drink lattes for half the day while journaling and reading hemmingway with no guilt whatsoever could also condone waking up in the wee hours of the morning, donning a pair of poly-blend bend-over slacks and a neon red christmas sweater, embellished with reindeer, santa claus, gingerbread men and actual blinking lights hopping in the mini-van (love you kel! think carlos mencia) and high-tailing it to the largest mall in order to stand in line for two or three hours only to be nearly (and sometimes actually) trampled to death for the great pleasure of scoring one of only two hundred $79 DVD players or one of the last two Wii's left in the entire galaxy.

well golly that sure sounds fun, don't it?

but alas, i'm judging, aren't i? hell yes i am.

let them eat cake or cinnabons till their heads explode. i truly hope they enjoy themselves and live to tell their great grandchildren of their heroic quests.

me? i'm being pulled by the forces of 3 hormonally challenged testosterone maniacs (weird 'cuz you'd think it'd be the girls who gave a flying frick) to "go check it out."

and in all fairness, testostee #1 is home from his prep school and has seemed to have grown at least 3 inches causing his pants to look like he's waiting for the levy to break. and we can't have that now, can we?

plus, it might be funny. i know that's highly optimistic of me but a pre-mall margarita may help calm the social anxiety some. 

i'll look on it as research for part 2...