bodhisatvic bliss

he is perfect. everything he does makes all who witness him say, "ahh..." like he's purposely trying to be the cutest fucking creature who ever walked the earth. each pose he falls into so naturally screams PURINA PUPPY CHOW PHOTO SHOOT!!  he makes me laugh as he lopes and scrambles around in his over-sized lanky puppy dog body.  i could look at him for hours.  he's getting so big that i can lie down next to him and cuddle with him like he's an adult human person. when i don't pay enough attention to him he sits right next to me and emits this grovelly growly moan that's simultaneously pathetic and hilarious and makes me want to give him anything he wants.  i wish i had that power. he looks me in the eyes when i speak, comes when i call him, sits when he thinks i have cheese or meat, just in case. how can i resist? i'm in love.  i kiss him on his slightly wet black velvety nose that's speckled with pink and white polka-dots. every time i kiss him he sticks his long pink tongue out real quick. so i kiss him repeatedly, like 5 or 6 times just to see if he'll continue his pattern, which he does.  according to the girl in the groovy asheville dog boutique, he chose me. and i'm inclined to believe her 'cuz chloe and i sat in the stinky wet puppy pens at the humane society and allowed ourselves to be licked, scratched and mauled to death in an honest attempt to finally pick the right one. bodhi was the mellowest guy i' ve ever seen. he stared into my eyes for a long, long time and had the personality of jeff spicoli. if he could talk i'm pretty sure he would've said,  "dude, i'm the one."  some retarded guy came by and told me i couldn't leave without him. i willingly concurred and proceeded to convince the staff that i needed take him home that very day, even though he was scheduled to have his manhood sliced soon and wouldn't be available for a few days. but i convinced them because my reason was solid. my baby sister was visiting from california and brought her dog, talisker (named for a whisky her husband loved) along. when tallie wasn't busy flying the friendly skies, he was home alone for a large part of the day. he needed a friend and had been having a ball with my psychotic little white bichon.  by acquiring a second canine before she went home, she could witness the joy that comes from a furry companion. 

little did i know that my "friend for my dog" dog would end up being my "soulmate" dog. suddenly it became crystal clear that my high maintenance paris hilton dog must be the "friend dog" for my sweet yuppie sis. i'd even go so far as to say he's her soulmate dog. in a few months she's coming to get him at which time i suppose bodhi will need a new friend...

ok, i'll admit that he needs more exercise and training to be the absolute coolest dog ever, but who, i ask, has time for that? i need that sexy foreign dog whisperer guy to come and live with me and train my dogs. i'll fetch him super-sized plastic tumblers of sangria and he'll don his uber-tight levis and pec-enhancing black shirt. he will shoot poison arrows at my dogs with his eyes and say things in spanish that sound quite naughty. but they will instantly come sit stay fetch roll over and make me a cappuccino with perfect foam.  i will thank him by taking naked photos of him at magic light. or maybe just in cowboy boots. the dog whisperer network people will call and beg to use my beautiful and  perfectly trained dogs in an upcoming special and we agree on a $50k fee.  shit, i just got hit on the head with a reality stick that smells suspiciously like poop. 

muchas gracias caesar.