dog vomit work-out

thank god for yahoo-answers! as i sit here watching mad t.v. as a "warm-up" for the work out i'm thinking about maybe doing later my nose is being assaulted by the unmistakable odor of dog vomit. at least i'm assuming  it's vomit judging by the chunks of what looks like regurgitated pork along with sticks, string and some little white air-soft gun pellets (damn it kids! i told you not to shoot the dogs! ) i suppose it could also be some form of doggie-diarrhea as there is a distinctly brown color to it.  i happened upon it just before  i unrolled my yoga mat(proof that mad t.v. was not my first choice for a warm-up). i must be learning something about the fine art of acceptance because rather than immediately crying or swearing i laughed, then got down on my hands and knees in order to inspect the damage (don't worry, i breathed through my mouth). upon recognizing that the spot was nearly the size of an extra large pizza, i opted for some research regarding the correct way to deal with it, being as i had just spent the last two days laboriously dragging around a steam cleaner in order to remove all the dirt and smells accumulated from the sins of the past 3 years, 7 pets, 3 children and a myriad of visitors and situations.  

great! now i can't figure out how to stop writing in italics but in a valiant attempt to keep on bloggin' i will continue my story regardless, realizing that the remainder will have a sort of "more important than it really is" feel. oh well.

so i sit here waiting the recommended 30 minutes for the cool water and salt mixture to do its magic and permeate deeply into the tight weave of the pale blue carpet and eat up the stain, i once again thank my lucky stars (and bill gates and all the other techni-genius') for giving us google, yahoo-answers and all those other sites where we can learn how to clean up dog vomit, make home-made bombs, even enlarge our penis' in a few easy clicks! in fact, when it comes to penis enlargement we don't even have to search, the perfect answers and products are right there waiting patiently for us in our spam box! sometimes a few even sneak into our actual inbox under the pretense that the sender is that special, long lost high-school friend, "hi whitney!" reads the subject line..."i've missed you!"  ha-ha sucker! it's me, viagra/cialis/generic "penis-growth oil" straight from mexico. 

but i regress. 

the timer just rang, alerting me that i must go on to steps two and three, gently blot up excess liquid with plain white paper towels (apparently sponge bob prints don't work so well) then make slow circular motions with a sponge drizzled lightly with mild dish detergent (or bleach, i can't quite remember).

i'm thinking that all this scrubbing and fetching of pertinent supplies for said project will probably count as my actual work-out and since the pungent smell doesn't seem to be going away it may be in my best interest to inhale, then imbibe the sweet scent and taste of an abita strawberry beer (a.k.a. my"cool-down"). 

wow, i think it might behoove my public by adding my own yahoo-answer to the mix.  i'm guessing you can find it under with key words, "dog-vomit/work-out" 'cuz who, i ask you, doesn't love the satisfying taste of a crisp and fruity beer after a job well done?